Recently, one of the faithful followers of my blog was kind enough to inform me about a series of adoption stories sponsored by The Huffington Post called “30 Adoption Portraits in 30 Days,” a series designed to give a voice to people with widely varying adoption experiences, including birthparents, adoptees, adoptive parents, foster parents, waiting adoptive parents and others touched by adoption. In one of my recent posts, I stated how disappointed I was that the majority of adoptive parents have chosen not to share their experiences with others which might give them hope. This was one of the reasons I started my blog and wrote the story of my adoption (to be published this spring). So, I was delighted to read and appreciate many of the stories in this series.
The twenty-third day of the series featured a story that struck me passionately. It’s called The Rare Relationship I Am Fortunate To Have With My Daughter: This Crazy, Wonderful, Hectic, Loving Open Adoption, Written by M http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/24/this-crazy-wonderful-hectic_n_2536739.html?utm_hp_ref=adoption . A birthmother gives her perspective on her daughter’s upbringing by the adoptive parents. An open adoption allows a relationship between the birthmother and the child, and in this case, the birthmother’s other children as well. I was touched by the healthy attitude of the birthmother who reassures herself and the reader that she made the right decision. She also describes her daughter, who sounds about the same age as my adopted daughter, as a happy child who enjoys the experiences and advantages her adoptive family can provide, including the fact that her daughter now has braces and mine just got them this month as well. The annual visits she enjoys with her child, create an avenue for a future relationship as her child grows into an adult and celebrates life events she may want to share with her birthmother, as well as her own family.
Ten years ago, my daughter’s birthmother chose to move on with her life and family, leaving her daughter with me and my husband to give her all the love and care she needed, including two big brothers. Had she chosen to stay in touch with us, I hope that she too would have felt confident about her decision, proud of her daughter, and grateful to our family. This story was heartwarming and poignant for me, and probably for any adoptive mother who wonders how a birthmother would feel years later about the incredibly difficult decision to give up a child to another family.
I encourage you all to take a look at the series of stories in The Huffington Post and read many of the courageous, compassionate, and sensitive stories it has to offer.